K.J.Heritage

K.J.Heritage is a UK author of mystery/crime sci-fi and epic fantasy—all with a strong emphasis on action and adventure and occasionally a little humour. Find out more

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4 days ago

Jules Hardisty

When I heard that a woman had been cast as Dr Who, I didn’t shit my pants, or explode in a gigantic fireball of fragile masculinity, or go on Twitter to make some rape threats, or lock myself in a room to wonder why my balls are looking smaller and more bloodless by the day.

No, none of that. My first thought was about the real, human woman doctors I know, and the two things they all have in common with the new Dr Who.

I thought about three of my school friends: Dr McKinnell, a philosopher who spent recently spent several patient hours explaining eco-feminism to me in a pub in Durham; Dr Over, a psychologist who studies the origin of prejudice in children, and Dr Corrigan, a marine ecologist specialising in speciation (try saying that after a few pints. I did; I failed horribly).

I thought of my university friend Dr Edwards, who not only goes on Women’s Hour to talk about martian science fiction, but put herself at the cutting edge of democratising education by co-founding the Open Library of Humanities; I thought of my cousins, Debbie and Nat, who help children as a neurologist and a psychologist respectively, and my friend Dr Thornborrow who would be my first pick to put me back together in a medical emergency.

I thought of the women I know who are, as we speak, moving towards the conclusion of their PhDs: the future Dr Jones, who moved to the far side of the globe so that she could finish her PhD about media bias in the era of fake news; the future Dr St Claire, whose research into urban farming might just provide us all with the more sustainable future we so urgently need, and the future Dr Robinson-West, who is well on her way to becoming a world expert on the anthropology of sport.

These women might have excelled across very different disciplines, but they all have two things in common with the new Dr Who:

Firstly, they are all adventurers.

You have to have an adventurous spirit to complete a PhD: you must travel to the very edge of human knowledge and then leap off into research that nobody has ever done before. It is a terrifying prospect.

Completing a PhD is time-consuming, laborious, difficult, with scant or illusive rewards at the end of it all. You need to be ambitious, and self-confident, and single-minded, and have lots of other attributes that we aren’t always good at recognising and encouraging in women.

The second thing they have in common with the new Dr Who is that they have all had people assume by their title that they must be a man.

They have had their own banks or utility suppliers refer to them as ‘Mrs’ and ask to speak to their husband; they have been introduced by their first name at academic conferences while men are referred to with their proper academic title; they have been assumed to be their own wife, or a nurse, or a secretary, or one of their own students.

They have each had their extraordinary achievements dismissed in an instant by those who assume that ‘Mrs’ is still the best title upgrade a little girl can hope for.

That is why Jodie Whittaker’s Dr Who has an importance that goes far beyond Saturday night TV.

Now If I’m honest, I usually don’t give much of a shit about the gender of fictional characters or their portrayers.

In a world where Hamlet himself was played by Fanny Furnival, Charlotte Charke and Sarah Siddons as long ago as the 1700s, and Virginia Woolf’s Orlando was travelling through time and changing genders in the 1920s, it seems incredibly backward and painfully ignorant to get your knickers in a twist about a TV character’s change of gender in 2017.

But this event is important because for so many children, Dr Who is the most prominent Doctor in their life; and because so many people in our society still assume a Doctor must be a man.

As my friend Dr Edwards might say, science fiction is always, at heart, about the era in which it is created, and so Dr Who’s regeneration into a female form says something very exciting about where we’re going in our attitude to female success.

In a few months' time, when Jodie Whittaker’s first episode of Dr Who is broadcast, there might just be a little girl somewhere in Britain doodling in front of the TV.

Maybe she will be designing a spaceport, or sketching the organs of the human body, or maybe she’ll be imagining the furniture that stood in the court of Elizabeth I or pondering the future configuration of continental plates.

Maybe that little girl will glimpse up for just a second or two and see Jodie Whittaker on the screen: Jodie Whittaker the adventurer who is doing what no woman has ever done before; Jodie Whittaker whose gender didn’t stop her from being ambitious, and brave, and a pioneer.

Maybe that little girl will slowly render her own name, in carefully designed letters, as little girls have done for centuries: and then maybe she will pause, and her brain will flicker, her hand paused, and she will catch a glimpse of Jodie Whittaker, kicking some Dalek butt beyond a door she always thought was locked, and she will slowly write those two little letters - Dr - in front of her own name.

Perhaps that little girl will cock her head to one side and then to the other, swinging her feet in the air the way that kids do - just to try it out, just to test the title’s fit beside her own familiar name - and she will start to consider what kind of adventures she might be able to go on.

Because when Jodie Whittaker gets in that Tardis she will be doing what hundreds of women doctors are doing every day: she will be moving us towards a fairer, freer world where a person’s value is measured not by their gender, but by their talents, their skills, and the content of their character.

It will be by far the most heroic thing that any Dr Who has ever done.
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Comment on Facebook

I honestly don't understand why gender is such a big deal. The Doctor is the Doctor. Gender ain't important. I'm more worried about the writing and the new stories. DW suffered under Moffat. All show and no substance. Like Sherlock became. Hopefully Chris Chibnall can get the show back on the road.

It was a shame it went downhill so badly. Both Matt Smith and Peter Capaldi are great actors and both brought something unique to the role, but were hampered by some of the worst stories and season arcs in the history of the show. I held on hoping it would get better but the Robin Hood episode was the one that finally did it for me.

That's right Dave. Moffat indulged so many fantasises that they became more important than the the stories, characters or the show. My low point: the Doctor playing electric guitar on a tank in medieval times 😞

The one with the pirates did it for me. The bit at the end where claimed that a bunch of pirates would be bound to know how to operate a space ship, laughable. The jury is still out for me whether these fall into that so bad they're actually good category.

The pain.. ... See MoreSee Less

The pain..

Comment on Facebook

A classic... 😂

Didnt realise han solo played the flute...

Spoilers! The book ends with someone with a recorder sticking out of his arse.

3 days ago

KJ Heritage

Watched Logan which has had good reviews. (Spoliers ahead). And sure, it sort of hangs together with only a few jarring moments - mostly unrealistic claws emerging from henchmen's heads and wondering why Logan would so obviously and recklessly endanger an innocent family whilst leaving Caliban to die at the ends of the enemy.

Surely they would guess that the bad guys would be using his mutant-sniffing talents to track them?

Apparently not. Cue avoidable, pointless death of said family...

But the thing that just made me get up and shout "For fucks sake!" at the TV was the same old tired, never-ending format of superheros facing/fighting versions of themselves.

We see it in Iron Man, Thor, the Hulk, Captain America, Dr Strange and now in Logan.

And in this movie, Wolverine's main enemy is actually himself!!! A clone-type version complete with claws and blah blah blah ☹️

I'm just aghast at the total lack of imagination shown in superhero movies from Marvel.

It it fucking impossible to come up with a plot that doesn't involve them fighting an enemy that isn't yet another version of themselves?

Or are they just frightened of steering away from a 'winning format'? Either way, I'm bored to death with it. Sick of it.

But remove the high production values and a brave attempt from the leads to try and make sense of the muddled plot (we are very close to turkey territory), this much-lauded movie was utter derivative drivel from start to finish.

The only real difference... they say 'fuck' a lot. Yeah, that's it. And probably why it's seen as more 'character driven' and 'thoughtful'.

If you've not yet given it a viewing, I wouldn't bother. You've already seen this movie lots of times before. And done more expertly.

1/5 from me.
... See MoreSee Less

Watched Logan which has had good reviews. (Spoliers ahead). And sure, it sort of hangs together with only a few jarring moments - mostly unrealistic claws emerging from henchmens heads and wondering why Logan would so obviously and recklessly endanger an innocent family whilst leaving Caliban to die at the ends of the enemy.

Surely they would guess that the bad guys would be using his mutant-sniffing talents to track them? 

Apparently not. Cue avoidable, pointless death of said family...

But the thing that just made me get up and shout For fucks sake! at the TV was the same old tired, never-ending format of superheros facing/fighting versions of themselves. 

We see it in Iron Man, Thor, the Hulk, Captain America, Dr Strange and now in Logan. 

And in this movie, Wolverines main enemy is actually himself!!! A clone-type version complete with claws and blah blah blah ☹️

Im just aghast at the total lack of imagination shown in superhero movies from Marvel. 

It it fucking impossible to come up with a plot that doesnt involve them fighting an enemy that isnt yet another version of themselves? 

Or are they just frightened of steering away from a winning format? Either way, Im bored to death with it. Sick of it.

But remove the high production values and a brave attempt from the leads to try and make sense of the muddled plot (we are very close to turkey territory), this much-lauded movie was utter derivative drivel from start to finish. 

The only real difference... they say fuck a lot. Yeah, thats it. And probably why its seen as more character driven and thoughtful. 

If youve not yet given it a viewing, I wouldnt bother. Youve already seen this movie lots of times before. And done more expertly.

1/5 from me.

Comment on Facebook

Fight, cliffhanger, fight, little girl in peril, lots of other people in peril because of little girl, cliffhanger, soul searching, fight. To me it was just way beyond bollocks, which, as you say, is pretty much what we can expect from scriptwriters these days. I know they all think "if it ain't broke..." But that fact that this formula doesn't seem to evolve, means it is broke.

I'm sure the intention of scriptwriters is to bring us something original and exciting. Positive in fact. But they don't make the final decisions. The producers are to blame. But I can understand where they're coming from. Movies cost too much to make. These days there's no factory system like in the 30s to the early 60s where they'd have everyone on a payroll chucking out 40 or so movies a year knowing that four or five would hit, pay for the rest and bring in a tidy profit. That all ended with the arrival of the blockbuster. Now it's 'all or nothing' territory. The producers don't just lose money - they lose their career. So they understandably (if not annoyingly) go for the safe percentages. But it leads to dull efforts like this one. But knowing this is the case doesn't make up for how utterly fed up I am with movies these days. Star driven. Predictable - if I hear 'we got company' - one more time I might just scream. And any number of other dull, dull, DULL cliches. I'm just waiting for a time not too distant in the future when auteurs can make top-class movies from home with minimal equipment and outlay. Then, just then, we might get a return to a factory system and more diversity and choice.

We're getting closer, with CGI being so widely available. I think Gigino & Co would work in CGI (Cue plug) www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B01MA3YI3K In my opinion, the American blockbuster industry is cliché and sad, it's time we Brits showed them how it's done, again 😉

3 days ago

KJ Heritage

Fantastic thunderstorms in late night Hove. Lightning, thunder and... oh yeah. My flat flooded. Just spent an hour in the middle of it all - bailing water like a madman. Living room full of towels and anything that would absorb all the influx. I'm too old for this shit. Now back in bed feeling utterly knackered. Nighty night x ... See MoreSee Less

Comment on Facebook

Time to move back to the hills of Chadd?

I'm giving Kev the prestigious "Things that happened that were a complete pain in the arse." Award.

🖑🖐 ... See MoreSee Less

🖑🖐

Comment on Facebook

Defeated by the Glove of Duum!

Ahem..Patented technique. ow.ly/RXPv30dKj0Q ... See MoreSee Less

Ahem..

4 days ago

Martin Atkinson

I felt this was due another airing, interestingly, just as relevant today as it was six months ago, when I put some lettering on an interesting bit of European satire. ... See MoreSee Less

I felt this was due another airing, interestingly, just as relevant today as it was six months ago, when I put some lettering on an interesting bit of European satire.

5 days ago

KJ Heritage

‪About timey wimey! ❤️ #JodieWhittaker #DoctorWho13 ‬ ... See MoreSee Less

‪About timey wimey! ❤️ #JodieWhittaker #DoctorWho13 ‬

6 days ago

KJ Heritage

This from Private Eye 😀 ... See MoreSee Less

This from Private Eye 😀

Comment on Facebook

The fact that something doesn't exist, doesn't prevent it from being a wonderful idea.

Paddington exists!

2 weeks ago

KJ Heritage

Being harassed for food again by my seagull 'friend' Nelson. The greedy, noisy bugger ... See MoreSee Less

Being harassed for food again by my seagull friend Nelson. The greedy, noisy bugger

Comment on Facebook

Nah. He's come to watch qualifying.

Nelson goes apeshit for chips. Absolutely apeshit.

He is only looking at F1 quali

Better than what we have... They were native Ibis, now we call them Bin Chickens. They will take the food off your fork!

2 weeks ago

KJ Heritage

Watched Rogue One again with friends who hadn't seen it before. They fell asleep... 😞 Nuff said. ... See MoreSee Less

Watched Rogue One again with friends who hadnt seen it before. They fell asleep... 😞 Nuff said.

Comment on Facebook

Yep Dissown them...

I didn't rate Rogue One at all. Here's why: www.kjheritage.com/2017/01/06/rogue-one-too-many-whys/

Read that before

Yep, and it's still baaaaad

Episode VII required the deleting of the lore tho

I wanted something more gritty, but Rogue One just made no sense from start to finish. If anything fucked with the lore it was this desperate attempt to link up to Part 4. I made my case above. 2 stars at the very most

Yeah .... It had some serious holes but .... Apart from "my own council I will keep on what is bad" it was a fun action film.. Ep VII was a mismatch of the first 3 with no relevance to any lore .... I watched it 3 times and got more and more annoyed

Yup!

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1 week ago

KJ Heritage

My first official story as K.J. Heritage... coming soon ... See MoreSee Less

1 week ago

KJ Heritage

Andy Serkis was asked to read Donald Trump's tweets as Gollum and didn't disappoint
Andy Serkis has made himself the go-to name when it comes to motion capture performances, but let's not forget that it all began with one creature: The Lord of the Rings trilogy's Gollum.
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2 weeks ago

Martin Atkinson

“Press the red button”
It's easy to say, isn't it?
Are you really brave?
Would you press the red button?
Do you really imagine, that the end of your species could really be that simple?
Would you commit genocide, Mr Corbin?
Would you kill billions of people, because they killed you first?
Would you help consign our planet to a nuclear winter, the like of which killed the dinosaurs?
Would you do that, Mr Corbin, are you man enough?
I think it takes more courage, not to do our bit towards an extinction event.
I think it takes courage to stick to unpopular policies.
It's like everyone forgot how MAD this is.
In my opinion, the public's support for nuclear weapons is just bloodlust.
It says something about who we are as a nation.
That we can hate another so much.
Just because they hate you.
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2 weeks ago

KJ Heritage

I watched THEM! (1954) the other evening—a movie that terrified me as a kid (especially the noise the giant ants make) and yeah, it’s still an absolute cracker!

So what’s it about? In its basic form THEM! is a cautionary tale about the dangers unleashed by nuclear A-Bomb testing.

But in this instance, it ain’t Godzilla causing problems stomping all over Tokyo, but giant ants creating havoc in the New Mexico Desert and Los Angeles with their ‘single-minded sugar obsession’ and ‘laying Queen Eggs everywhere’ antics.

There’s also a USA ‘Cold War military might’ thing going on—but not overplayed. I love these old movies, where everybody’s on board and they just get on with trying to kill the enemy by using good old trustworthy science.

In this movie, ant experts take charge and are given full access to the US military to do with what they please. Mostly blowing the crap out of everything. Haha.

Ant experts…😂 but they do know their stuff…

There are some genuinely spine-chilling scenes in the desert amid sandstorms, destroyed caravans and a creepy traumatised child. And the sound the ants make… still gives me the heebie-jeebies.

Trouble escalates when a new queen ant escapes to L.A. and starts laying eggs that could ‘lead to the end of mankind as we know it.’ Resulting in a full-scale military invasion of the LA sewer system.

The 50s FX still stand up—although they are a little clunky, but of a genuinely high-standard for the time (well done Academy Award Nominee Ralph Ayres), and the direction from Gordon Douglas is one of the better efforts in the genre.

The tight story vanquishes any gripes about the plausibility factor, while the acting is damn fine. With James Whitmore, Edmund Gwenn, and Joan Weldon all acting their socks off.

And despite thinking it might be mired in tired old 50s sexism, the movie featured a strong female who pretty much ordered the guys around, which was nice to see. But again, the answer was in science. The military deferred to scientific knowledge and expertise and, if that came from a ‘dame’, it made no difference.

I thought there might be a romantic subplot, but it never went further than a few looks and glances. Nice. It wasn’t needed in this well-balanced, well-plotted gem of a movie.

There are some great cameos as well, all enjoyed by the actors involved, including a ‘blink and you’ll miss it scene’ with a young Leonard Nimoy.

THEM! went on to become Warner Brothers highest grossing film in 1954, it's easy see to why.

As I said… an absolute cracker! 8/10
... See MoreSee Less

I watched THEM! (1954) the other evening—a movie that terrified me as a kid (especially the noise the giant ants make) and yeah, it’s still an absolute cracker! 

So what’s it about? In its basic form THEM! is a cautionary tale about the dangers unleashed by nuclear A-Bomb testing.

But in this instance, it ain’t Godzilla causing problems stomping all over Tokyo, but giant ants creating havoc in the New Mexico Desert and Los Angeles with their ‘single-minded sugar obsession’ and ‘laying Queen Eggs everywhere’ antics.

There’s also a USA ‘Cold War military might’ thing going on—but not overplayed. I love these old movies, where everybody’s on board and they just get on with trying to kill the enemy by using good old trustworthy science. 

In this movie, ant experts take charge and are given full access to the US military to do with what they please. Mostly blowing the crap out of everything. Haha.

Ant experts…😂  but they do know their stuff… 

There are some genuinely spine-chilling scenes in the desert amid sandstorms, destroyed caravans and a creepy traumatised child. And the sound the ants make… still gives me the heebie-jeebies.

Trouble escalates when a new queen ant escapes to L.A. and starts laying eggs that could ‘lead to the end of mankind as we know it.’ Resulting in a full-scale military invasion of the LA sewer system.

The 50s FX still stand up—although they are a little clunky, but of a genuinely high-standard for the time (well done Academy Award Nominee Ralph Ayres), and the direction from Gordon Douglas is one of the better efforts in the genre.
 
The tight story vanquishes any gripes about the plausibility factor, while the acting is damn fine. With James Whitmore, Edmund Gwenn, and Joan Weldon all acting their socks off.

And despite thinking it might be mired in tired old 50s sexism, the movie featured a strong female who pretty much ordered the guys around, which was nice to see. But again, the answer was in science. The military deferred to scientific knowledge and expertise and, if that came from a ‘dame’, it made no difference. 

I thought there might be a romantic subplot, but it never went further than a few looks and glances. Nice. It wasn’t needed in this well-balanced, well-plotted gem of a movie.

There are some great cameos as well, all enjoyed by the actors involved, including a ‘blink and you’ll miss it scene’ with a young Leonard Nimoy.

THEM! went on to become Warner Brothers highest grossing film in 1954, its easy see to why. 

As I said… an absolute cracker! 8/10

Comment on Facebook

I remember watching Them, I loved a horror flick when I was young. The Blob, The Black Cat and Theatre of Blood were my favourites. Now I see stuff like Saw and wonder what the fuck happened to good old fashioned horror.

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ROGUE ONE – Too Many Whys

MAJOR SPOILERS! This is not some rant at a Star Wars movie. I’m a huge Star Wars fan and always will be. I really wanted to like Rogue One, but, for me, it was a confused mess that made little sense throughout. The problem? Too many whys.

I’ve now seen it again, hoping that my first viewing was just an off day or something. But if anything, I liked it even less.

Characters I didn’t get/like

None of the main characters jelled with me as they did in The Force Awakens.

Rogue One just didn’t work at the character level.

Unlike Rey and Finn, I got no sense of ‘who Jyn was’. She seemed a very flat character who I never got a handle on. Which was problematic as the story arc involves her influencing hard-nosed soldiers to follow her.

And as for Cassian? He lacked depth, charm and believability. Nearly everything he did was odds with who he was supposed to be—a calloused field agent.

And why didn’t Cassias pull the trigger to kill Jyn’s father, Galen Erso?

If he was this hard-nosed assassin type, he’d have no trouble following orders like this in the field.

And, importantly, there was no preceding scene to cement a relationship between Cassian and Jyn to prevent him pulling the trigger.

Jyn and Cassia - no sparks
No sparks here

Both characters were not portrayed deeply enough to justify their lead roles.

The ‘relationship’ between the two didn’t have time to blossom. Things simply moved too rapidly from one event to the next.

Also, why didn’t Jyn kill Director Orson Krennic when she had the chance on the tower?

Krennic killed Jyn’s mother and forced her father to create weapons of mass destruction.

Yet she allows Cassius to stop her doing this.

Just why would Cassian stop her?

He’s supposed to be a cold-blooded killer (we saw that in his first scene), so there’s no reason why he’d miss an opportunity to kill such a high-ranking member of the enemy.

Deep Impact - Tsunami Wave - Rogue One
Deep Impact – hold on tight Jyn

Why is Cassian indestructible?

He should have died during his epic fall inside the tower. His head hit the metal beams.

He must’ve had broken bones or at least broken ribs, but he bounces back as if nothing’s happened.

Why?

Because I think he was supposed to die and they brought him back for the different ending with Tea Leoni  and her father waiting to die on the beach, as they did in the movie, Deep Impact.

A lot has been written about the inclusion of ‘Asian characters’ in Rogue One.

I have no problem with racial types, aliens, women, homosexuality or gay, bright blue, furry xenomorphs in fiction, movies or any media.

Humans, like aliens, are fucking diverse. I love all that stuff.

But the Asian characters seemed to be added just for ‘effect’.

Chirrut Imre was dressed in Asian style. And was an ‘Asian style mystical type’.

Why make that generic choice?

We are in A Galaxy far far Away. It was just so lazy a choice for him. His character and his mate were a really disappointing duo.

As for the rest of the ‘band’?

There were too many characters and not enough time spent with them to get a handle on who they were… and more importantly, to actually care about them.

Also, Jyn’s mother? What was her motivation in taking out the gun to threaten Krennic?

Why did she do this?

I thought she must have some plan… but no. Nothing.

Did she want to get herself killed and leave Jyn parentless? It sure seemed like it.

A dumb move that I didn’t understand.

And I hate Mexican standoffs. Generic nonsense that infests nearly every movie and TV show.

The Stormtroopers/guards would have shot her dead where she stood.

Let’s move on to Saw Gerrera. A total waste of Forest Whitaker.

He was only there to excite the fanboys, not to further the plot. And what happened to his blue eyes?

Other cameos were awkwardly tacked on.

I found myself sighing at all these sad ‘nods’ to other characters. E.g. C-3PO and R2-D2 shoehorned in for fan service.

The movie didn’t need them.

They reminded me I was watching a film, and it jarred.

Characters I liked

K-2SO was the one character I loved. A wonderful change from the other Star Wars—a droid who can shoot! Bringing both humor and some great action to the film.

To be honest, K-2SO was the best thing in it.

Overall there was a lack of comedy—integral to get us liking and caring about the main players.

Grand Moff Tarkin was excellent. What a shame we didn’t get more from him. Although he wasn’t that wonderfully rendered. But neither was Leia for that matter.

 Galen Erso hologram
Convenient cheese…

I also liked Jyn’s dad, Galen Erso, although his holo-speech monologue was both rushed and too convenient.

Plot

Plots don’t always have to make sense if the characters are strong enough to carry the story.

But without believable, interesting characters, the plot holes shine through like bright fucking lights.

What I liked was:

The explanation for the exhaust ports on the Death Star.

The Jeddha explosion and the other planet explosions.

It picked up near the end with the Rebel spaceships. It was like Star Wars arrived with their ships.

But the things that jarred were:

The whole first act didn’t feel like Star Wars but more like some Homeland Baghdad episode.

A giant octopus that can send you mad, got one scene.

Why?

The guy who was ‘sent mad’, was only mad for a little bit.

The Empire keeping all their stuff on a single disk (no backup procedures? Haha).

The TV dish on the top of the tower…

Doc Brown - Back To The Future
Been done before and better

The silly master switch.

The ‘Doc Brown wire that is too short’ sequence. I’ve seen it before in Back To The Future.

It was great in that movie. Here it’s just an embarrassing, cringe-worthy repeat.

The rebels assaulting the tower wearing WWII styled helmets reminiscent of US troops in the  Pacific—again, hardly A Galaxy Far Far Away.

Too many storm troopers being shot and blown up that it became tedious.

The final couple of scenes were something taken from Star Wars Battlefront and again, tacked on.

And Darth Vader didn’t look or sound like himself—he didn’t connect with me as being ‘real Darth Vader’.

Why?

Darth Vader
Just too bad ass!

Because the Darth Vader we see at the end of Rogue One is not the Darth Vader we meet in A New Hope. In Rogue One he’s all fucking lightsabre badass. Killing rebs all over the place.

A scene for the fanboys.

He takes on an army all by himself without even breaking a sweat. He’s nothing like the Vader we meet in the next movie. It jarred with me so completely as to ruin his ‘return’.

Just utter fanboy nonsense—like the manic Yoda fighting Count Dooku in the prequels.

And I don’t understand the need to fill in every single gap of the pre-A New Hope narrative.

Last bits

I’m the kinda guy who loves to watch Star Wars movies over and over—but not so much the prequels.

I’ve watched the original trilogy hundreds of times, particularly The Empire Strikes Back.

After watching The Force Awakens, I saw it at the cinema as many times as I could.

I only watched Rogue One a second time because I hadn’t seen what everyone else had and I wanted to make sure that I hadn’t missed something.

If I’d seen this before Force Awakens, I’d probably have been a lot happier with it. But it was a confused movie that failed to develop its main characters.

I was hoping it would find its feet, yet it never did.

I’ve read reviews where they say this is a ‘more dark’ Star Wars.

To my way of thinking, The Force Awakens was very dark. Han Solo killed by his son dark. Good vs Fucking Evil dark.

All the greys of Rogue One added up to a grey film. I wanted to be transported away from my life and taken somewhere fucking amazing and special—like a good Star wars movie should do. But Rogue One wanted to remind me of the Middle-east, the Second World and Star Wars Battlefront.

All these things just added up to keep me from suspending my disbelief. Lots of jarring moments where I was asking ‘why’?

So, what to end on?

Despite all the hope and the hype, the movie isn’t that great. Remove the Star Wars universe and the tiresome fanboy bits and no one would be talking about this three star (just) film at all.

Sorry, but it is what it is… *braces for flack!*

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