K.J.Heritage

K.J.Heritage is a UK author of mystery/crime sci-fi and epic fantasy—all with a strong emphasis on action and adventure and occasionally a little humour. Find out more

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3 days ago

KJ Heritage

Give me all your lovin’, all your hugs and kisses too ... See MoreSee Less

Things that make you go hmmm..

Bored Panda
This tube allows uninterrupted face-to-face communication
By The Experience Tube
... See MoreSee Less

2 days ago

Rosie Ruston

🎅🎅🎅 ... See MoreSee Less

🎅🎅🎅

5 days ago

KJ Heritage

What’s your address? I’ll pop over with a Ginster ... See MoreSee Less

Comment on Facebook

You really know how to talk dirty...

6 days ago

KJ Heritage

Is it wrong to expect Amazon to pay me in Royal Jelly? ... See MoreSee Less

 

Comment on Facebook

Why would you want that?!?!?!? www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Royal Jelly&amp=true

6 days ago

KJ Heritage

Right. Time to change the red alert bulb to something more ambient. Nite nite x ... See MoreSee Less

 

Comment on Facebook

Night matey

6 days ago

KJ Heritage

It’s cold enough to freeze a polar bear’s bollocks ... See MoreSee Less

6 days ago

KJ Heritage

GOOD MORNING WORLD! Now that I’ve woken you up, get out of bed and make me breakfast you slags! ... See MoreSee Less

1 week ago

Rosie Ruston

Things that make you go hmmm..Just going to leave this here. ... See MoreSee Less

Things that make you go hmmm..

1 week ago

Rob Storer

And today's weather for the Midlands is...
Ah crap !
... See MoreSee Less

1 week ago

KJ Heritage

Very late to the party but all this twerking is playing havoc with my lower back ... See MoreSee Less

1 week ago

KJ Heritage

‪It’s Friday, I’m awake & no, I’m not wearing fucking sunglasses. ‬ ... See MoreSee Less

2 weeks ago

KJ Heritage

I wish I could comment ‘unbelievable’ but we’re well past that territory now. Exasperated at this nasty bunch of useless idiots who are tearing our country apart. And how they still poll at 40% is beyond me... #Murdock et all news.sky.com/story/fury-as-philip-hammond-suggests-disabled-workers-are-suppressing-economic-prod... ... See MoreSee Less

I wish I could comment ‘unbelievable’ but we’re well past that territory now. Exasperated at this nasty bunch of useless idiots who are tearing our country apart. And how they still poll at 40% is beyond me... #Murdock et all http://news.sky.com/story/fury-as-philip-hammond-suggests-disabled-workers-are-suppressing-economic-productivity-11159255

Comment on Facebook

Kev ... I have no words for the lunacy that must occupy the minds of their voters

Interestingly, I mentioned "Cameron's purges" to a doctor recently. He just nodded sadly, he knew exactly what I meant. These suicides must really hurt people in the caring professions. Make ready for Hammond's purges. If no-one buys my book pretty soon, I'm not going to survive this one myself.

Interesting logic...

Daily Mail Video
Something way more sinister than caffeine is keeping you awake... 😈
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Comment on Facebook

This woman has drunk way to much of this stuff. Step away people, she's about to blow!

Logic? 😂😂😂

what a complete nut case? who gave her the time to talk in public???

2 weeks ago

KJ Heritage

Larry David needs to buy a bra for his housemaid. Can’t see this ending well... slowly working my way through #CurbYourEnthusiam 😂😂😂 ... See MoreSee Less

Comment on Facebook

can't watch that show. Cringe!

yep, it a bit like that

2 weeks ago

KJ Heritage

Presently adding ‘of doom’ to all my sentences. Today’s lunch: fish and chips of doom enjoyed on my sofa of doom. Drinking my fizzy water OF DOOM! ... See MoreSee Less

 

Comment on Facebook

I'm stuck at my desk of doom trying to finish a work project .... of doom !! Makes me sound like a super villain.....OF DOOM !

I am writing my Bowie fan fiction OF DOOM! When I should be writing Gigino & Co & The Happy Ending OF DOOM! Should I repost The Apocalypse Ending OF DOOM! Again?

Good to see you're eating something decent for lunch instead of porridge!

But was it porridge of doom ?

2 weeks ago

KJ Heritage

Woken up this morning by my stomach which presently sounds like some ambient synth/whale song. ... See MoreSee Less

 

Comment on Facebook

Have you been cooking your food again?

3 weeks ago

KJ Heritage

Soma for the masses. Meanwhile...

The government has confirmed a freeze on working age benefits minutes after the Prince Harry news
The Government has confirmed it will be freezing benefits until 2020 costing a typical working family around £300 per year. Caroline Dinenage, a...
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Comment on Facebook

Impeccable timing isn't it, Kev? Almost as if it was deliberate...🙄 Also, who really gives a toss about a royal bloody wedding when the world is turning to shit. Crazy. 😩

3 weeks ago

Rosie Ruston

Peter Stefanovic
This was David Davis on the Andrew Marr show 3 September saying rumors of a £50bn Brexit divorce bill was "was rubbish, nonsense and completely wrong!"
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3 weeks ago

KJ Heritage

Time to earn a crust. And yes, it's a steak and kidney pie crust, with lost of gravy and peas. Mmm. This goddamn diet is making me hallucinate... ... See MoreSee Less

Time to earn a crust. And yes, its a steak and kidney pie crust, with lost of gravy and peas. Mmm. This goddamn diet is making me hallucinate...

 

Comment on Facebook

That mash looks yum! 😍

3 weeks ago

KJ Heritage

I’m so subtle that I never pronounce the ‘b’ ... See MoreSee Less

 

Comment on Facebook

You silly ugger.

Hahaha... but you're still my itch

3 weeks ago

KJ Heritage

I wasn’t that disconcerted. But still an interesting series

The new Black Mirror trailer is here and it is terrifying
While Black Mirror’s fourth season may not have a release date, the marketing team have been releasing teasers for some time. Following a trailer...
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Comment on Facebook

I've been introducing my US buddies to Charlie 🙂 www.youtube.com/watch?v=TABgNerEro8&list=TLGGwGnyEePtzrQyNjExMjAxNw&index=6

3 weeks ago

KJ Heritage

My phone now sounds like the TARDIS ... See MoreSee Less

My phone now sounds like the TARDIS

3 weeks ago

KJ Heritage

Here’s my regular Sunday morning 68 character status update. Enjoy 😀 ... See MoreSee Less

3 weeks ago

KJ Heritage

Someone make me breakfast in bed! ... See MoreSee Less

4 weeks ago

Rosie Ruston

😲

George Takei
This is lit.

via In The Know
... See MoreSee Less

4 weeks ago

Rosie Ruston

Ahem.... ... See MoreSee Less

Ahem....

Comment on Facebook

What's his secret power?

His impressive weapon!

right on!

This is the reason Lilith doesn't have a chain mail bikini. She has lots of super thick armour, just like the blokes. They make a good point, women in fantasy games has got really stupid now. Tell me I'm wrong Dave Botham

It's the Korean ones that are really silly. They don't even bother with the chainmail - in Tera it's bikinis, maid's outfits and schoolgirl outfits. That said, some of the male armour in Tera is fairly close to the illustration above. Another reason I like Guild Wars 2 over other games is that the vast majority of the armours actually cover the parts that need covering.

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4 weeks ago

K.J. Heritage Writerer

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4 weeks ago

KJ Heritage

One day only! ... See MoreSee Less

One day only!

1 month ago

KJ Heritage

Thinking I may be getting closer to regeneration… ... See MoreSee Less

 

Comment on Facebook

Don't do it. You get fresh new knees, but it's just another chance to go through the same crap all over again. I think.

It’s okay, I’ve done it loads of times before. Just like moving house

1 month ago

Rob Storer

Anyone on here watching Mr Robot ?
This shit is as unreal as it is real !
😲
... See MoreSee Less

1 month ago

KJ Heritage

Well Wonder Woman was a bust. Where on earth did those great reviews come from... what an embarrassing turkey. They can make as many sequels as they want. I won't be watching. ... See MoreSee Less

Well Wonder Woman was a bust. Where on earth did those great reviews come from... what an embarrassing turkey. They can make as many sequels as they want. I wont be watching.

Comment on Facebook

Didn't like the adverts or the premise .. Didn't waste my time on it

Don't bother. It's badly plotted, badly written (the dialogue is worse than clunky), it's insulting to both sides in WW1 - in that respect it was historically moronic - and quite, quite preposterous on every level.

I didn't like it either. It's essentially a rehash of the first Captain America movie, which I wasn't crazy about either.

In serious need of what I’m going to call: ‘an extended period of horizontal undressed unconsciousness’. Now trying to locate a suitable ‘lying down device’ ... See MoreSee Less

 

Comment on Facebook

Haha. Didn’t sleep a fucking wink. First night of full on insomnia I’ve had in years... luckily there was plenty of existential dread to keep me going... 😮

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mostlywriting@kjheritage.com

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ROGUE ONE – Too Many Whys

MAJOR SPOILERS! This is not some rant at a Star Wars movie. I’m a huge Star Wars fan and always will be. I really wanted to like Rogue One, but, for me, it was a confused mess that made little sense throughout. The problem? Too many whys.

I’ve now seen it again, hoping that my first viewing was just an off day or something. But if anything, I liked it even less.

Characters I didn’t get/like

None of the main characters jelled with me as they did in The Force Awakens.

Rogue One just didn’t work at the character level.

Unlike Rey and Finn, I got no sense of ‘who Jyn was’. She seemed a very flat character who I never got a handle on. Which was problematic as the story arc involves her influencing hard-nosed soldiers to follow her.

And as for Cassian? He lacked depth, charm and believability. Nearly everything he did was odds with who he was supposed to be—a calloused field agent.

And why didn’t Cassias pull the trigger to kill Jyn’s father, Galen Erso?

If he was this hard-nosed assassin type, he’d have no trouble following orders like this in the field.

And, importantly, there was no preceding scene to cement a relationship between Cassian and Jyn to prevent him pulling the trigger.

Jyn and Cassia - no sparks
No sparks here

Both characters were not portrayed deeply enough to justify their lead roles.

The ‘relationship’ between the two didn’t have time to blossom. Things simply moved too rapidly from one event to the next.

Also, why didn’t Jyn kill Director Orson Krennic when she had the chance on the tower?

Krennic killed Jyn’s mother and forced her father to create weapons of mass destruction.

Yet she allows Cassius to stop her doing this.

Just why would Cassian stop her?

He’s supposed to be a cold-blooded killer (we saw that in his first scene), so there’s no reason why he’d miss an opportunity to kill such a high-ranking member of the enemy.

Deep Impact - Tsunami Wave - Rogue One
Deep Impact – hold on tight Jyn

Why is Cassian indestructible?

He should have died during his epic fall inside the tower. His head hit the metal beams.

He must’ve had broken bones or at least broken ribs, but he bounces back as if nothing’s happened.

Why?

Because I think he was supposed to die and they brought him back for the different ending with Tea Leoni  and her father waiting to die on the beach, as they did in the movie, Deep Impact.

A lot has been written about the inclusion of ‘Asian characters’ in Rogue One.

I have no problem with racial types, aliens, women, homosexuality or gay, bright blue, furry xenomorphs in fiction, movies or any media.

Humans, like aliens, are fucking diverse. I love all that stuff.

But the Asian characters seemed to be added just for ‘effect’.

Chirrut Imre was dressed in Asian style. And was an ‘Asian style mystical type’.

Why make that generic choice?

We are in A Galaxy far far Away. It was just so lazy a choice for him. His character and his mate were a really disappointing duo.

As for the rest of the ‘band’?

There were too many characters and not enough time spent with them to get a handle on who they were… and more importantly, to actually care about them.

Also, Jyn’s mother? What was her motivation in taking out the gun to threaten Krennic?

Why did she do this?

I thought she must have some plan… but no. Nothing.

Did she want to get herself killed and leave Jyn parentless? It sure seemed like it.

A dumb move that I didn’t understand.

And I hate Mexican standoffs. Generic nonsense that infests nearly every movie and TV show.

The Stormtroopers/guards would have shot her dead where she stood.

Let’s move on to Saw Gerrera. A total waste of Forest Whitaker.

He was only there to excite the fanboys, not to further the plot. And what happened to his blue eyes?

Other cameos were awkwardly tacked on.

I found myself sighing at all these sad ‘nods’ to other characters. E.g. C-3PO and R2-D2 shoehorned in for fan service.

The movie didn’t need them.

They reminded me I was watching a film, and it jarred.

Characters I liked

K-2SO was the one character I loved. A wonderful change from the other Star Wars—a droid who can shoot! Bringing both humor and some great action to the film.

To be honest, K-2SO was the best thing in it.

Overall there was a lack of comedy—integral to get us liking and caring about the main players.

Grand Moff Tarkin was excellent. What a shame we didn’t get more from him. Although he wasn’t that wonderfully rendered. But neither was Leia for that matter.

 Galen Erso hologram
Convenient cheese…

I also liked Jyn’s dad, Galen Erso, although his holo-speech monologue was both rushed and too convenient.

Plot

Plots don’t always have to make sense if the characters are strong enough to carry the story.

But without believable, interesting characters, the plot holes shine through like bright fucking lights.

What I liked was:

The explanation for the exhaust ports on the Death Star.

The Jeddha explosion and the other planet explosions.

It picked up near the end with the Rebel spaceships. It was like Star Wars arrived with their ships.

But the things that jarred were:

The whole first act didn’t feel like Star Wars but more like some Homeland Baghdad episode.

A giant octopus that can send you mad, got one scene.

Why?

The guy who was ‘sent mad’, was only mad for a little bit.

The Empire keeping all their stuff on a single disk (no backup procedures? Haha).

The TV dish on the top of the tower…

Doc Brown - Back To The Future
Been done before and better

The silly master switch.

The ‘Doc Brown wire that is too short’ sequence. I’ve seen it before in Back To The Future.

It was great in that movie. Here it’s just an embarrassing, cringe-worthy repeat.

The rebels assaulting the tower wearing WWII styled helmets reminiscent of US troops in the  Pacific—again, hardly A Galaxy Far Far Away.

Too many storm troopers being shot and blown up that it became tedious.

The final couple of scenes were something taken from Star Wars Battlefront and again, tacked on.

And Darth Vader didn’t look or sound like himself—he didn’t connect with me as being ‘real Darth Vader’.

Why?

Darth Vader
Just too bad ass!

Because the Darth Vader we see at the end of Rogue One is not the Darth Vader we meet in A New Hope. In Rogue One he’s all fucking lightsabre badass. Killing rebs all over the place.

A scene for the fanboys.

He takes on an army all by himself without even breaking a sweat. He’s nothing like the Vader we meet in the next movie. It jarred with me so completely as to ruin his ‘return’.

Just utter fanboy nonsense—like the manic Yoda fighting Count Dooku in the prequels.

And I don’t understand the need to fill in every single gap of the pre-A New Hope narrative.

Last bits

I’m the kinda guy who loves to watch Star Wars movies over and over—but not so much the prequels.

I’ve watched the original trilogy hundreds of times, particularly The Empire Strikes Back.

After watching The Force Awakens, I saw it at the cinema as many times as I could.

I only watched Rogue One a second time because I hadn’t seen what everyone else had and I wanted to make sure that I hadn’t missed something.

If I’d seen this before Force Awakens, I’d probably have been a lot happier with it. But it was a confused movie that failed to develop its main characters.

I was hoping it would find its feet, yet it never did.

I’ve read reviews where they say this is a ‘more dark’ Star Wars.

To my way of thinking, The Force Awakens was very dark. Han Solo killed by his son dark. Good vs Fucking Evil dark.

All the greys of Rogue One added up to a grey film. I wanted to be transported away from my life and taken somewhere fucking amazing and special—like a good Star wars movie should do. But Rogue One wanted to remind me of the Middle-east, the Second World and Star Wars Battlefront.

All these things just added up to keep me from suspending my disbelief. Lots of jarring moments where I was asking ‘why’?

So, what to end on?

Despite all the hope and the hype, the movie isn’t that great. Remove the Star Wars universe and the tiresome fanboy bits and no one would be talking about this three star (just) film at all.

Sorry, but it is what it is… *braces for flack!*

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