K.J.Heritage

K.J.Heritage is a UK author of mystery/crime sci-fi and epic fantasy—all with a strong emphasis on action and adventure and occasionally a little humour. Find out more

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15 hours ago

KJ Heritage

Can anyone speak the French? This coming soon... ... See MoreSee Less

Can anyone speak the French? This coming soon...

Comment on Facebook

No but I like French fries, does that count?

Le piscine.... La maison.... Ok I'm all out ....

I am living proof that the use of the text book tricilore to teach French at secondary school was a bad idea

I've got about as far as ménage à trois 😂

Expertly translated by Guillaume Bc-trad 😀

Ooh a menage a trois with a femme fatale perhaps?

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13 hours ago

KJ Heritage

Yummy curry last night: Onion Bhajis, Bhuna Prawn starters with Chicken Jalfrezi as the main - with added Sag Aloo and mushroom pillau ❤️❤️❤️ Courtesy of my local house of curry, The Ganges. Nice!! Those loverly lagers are not mine tho as I've stopped the drinking 😮. Fantastic meal, although it sounds like my tum is attempting whale song this morning 😂 ... See MoreSee Less

Yummy curry last night: Onion Bhajis, Bhuna Prawn starters with Chicken Jalfrezi as the main - with added Sag Aloo and mushroom pillau ❤️❤️❤️ Courtesy of my local house of curry, The Ganges. Nice!!  Those loverly lagers are not mine tho as Ive stopped the drinking 😮. Fantastic meal, although it sounds like my tum is attempting whale song this morning 😂

Frankie Boyle, spot on as usual...

The Guardian
Frankie Boyle has some scathing words for the Conservative party leadership, with Michael Gove and Michael Fallon singled out. He tells Owen Jones the Tories lack any talent to replace Theresa May after her disappointing performance in the general election.
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19 hours ago

KJ Heritage

Haha - brilliantHuw Parkinson turns to the fallout from the recent UK general election. Having lost her majority, and with complicated Brexit negotiations and fields of whea... ... See MoreSee Less

Video image

Comment on Facebook

Bloody peasants.

16 hours ago

Jules Hardisty

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2 days ago

KJ Heritage

Small talk? Love it or hate it?

I had a colonoscopy yesterday, as part of a free NHS check thing. So while I'm lying there with a camera up my arse, they attempt to relax me with small-talk! Yeah. Me! Haha. I've been recently diagnosed with ASD, which explains why I've hated the dreaded small-talk all my life. But I just wished they'f left me alone to ponder the absurdities of life... Anyone else hate the dreaded ST?
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Comment on Facebook

Yup. Brits can't stop talking about the weather anyway so its impossible to avoid but so bloody pointless. I also hate being asked questions about me and I'm really curious about other people so I generally end up sounding like an inquisitor.

I forget when people say 'how are you?' that what I'm required to say is 'fine' - not give a full medical history. I also like reciting facts and/or venturing an opinion. All pretty fatal in the small talk arena. But I just don't know what to say, or I just die from the utter banality of it all. Sometimes I just say silly things on purpose. Or make 'jokes'.

What sort of small talk? Nice weather we are having ? Do you come here often? Did you see Brighton play at home last week?

What do you do? How long have you been living in Brighton? And my favourite, after I'd stumbled through a few questions, 'what Antivirus software would You recommend?' - I had a camera up my arse FFS! I didn't even bother answering that one 😂

I know it's difficult, but they are trying to take your mind off the procedure. Just say I prefer not to talk. Here colonoscopies are done with general anaesthetic.

Fascinated to learn that even medical staff, on sticking a camera up your backside, then immediately decide (presumably based on visual evidence) to engage you in conversation. Many of us have held for years that you talk out of your arse. Now, Doctors agree. Win.

I'm a nurse. A District Nurse-got the qualification and everything- hate small talk. Hated it when the late hubby was ill, hate it when colleagues try it on people.

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2 days ago

KJ Heritage

Thunder Dungeon
No zookeeper can contain him
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Comment on Facebook

I bet you taught him everything he knows 😉

I prefer beaver

I don't really have the stamina to trawl through all the seductive otters and other stuff that Google would doubtless throw up, should I be unwise enough to try a search. I am therefore willing to accept that this otter is, precisely what they claim it to be. If anyone is prepared to do the proper otter research in this field, I would be interested in viewing the results.

6 days ago

KJ Heritage

Watched 'Steve Jobs' the 2015 movie. It's got a hefty 86% on IMDB and exists as a series of conversations, arguments and interactions before some of his more memorable product launches.

My knowledge of the man is sketchy and I was hoping for something that added a bit of meat to the bones of what I know about him.

But this movie was also sketchy. And was more about the myth of the man than about him. A sort of badly-coloured in version.

Jobs is a fascinating individual and I suppose a traditional biopic starting with him and Wozniak in their garage moving predictably towards his death would've been boring. This was a brave attempt to deal with the man in an interesting fashion. But it was just too light on the detail.

I would've preferred a movie that focused on one of interesting periods rather than skating over nearly over them.

Great performances all round. But was left with a feeling of... I need more depth. This was nothing more than a stylish veneer.
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Watched Steve Jobs the 2015 movie. Its got a hefty 86% on IMDB and exists as a series of conversations, arguments and interactions before some of his more memorable product launches. 

My knowledge of the man is sketchy and I was hoping for something that added a bit of meat to the bones of what I know about him. 

But this movie was also sketchy. And was more about the myth of the man than about him. A sort of badly-coloured in version. 

Jobs is a fascinating individual and I suppose a traditional biopic starting with him and Wozniak in their garage moving predictably towards his death wouldve been boring. This was a brave attempt to deal with the man in an interesting fashion. But it was just too light on the detail.

I wouldve preferred a movie that focused on one of interesting periods rather than skating over nearly over them. 

Great performances all round. But was left with a feeling of... I need more depth. This was nothing more than a stylish veneer.

Comment on Facebook

Ah, really? I don't get the hagiography at all. He had the revolutionary idea that a useful thing could also be desirable. Big fucking wow. That's every desirable thing ever. Imho, obviously

just think of him as a brilliant guy with an unpleasant personality and a bit of a Jesus complex...not sure if that's fair or not but my impression--

4 days ago

KJ Heritage

‪Haha! The Queen has come to parliament looking like an EU flag. The message is clear, Ma'am #remain‬ ... See MoreSee Less

‪Haha! The Queen has come to parliament looking like an EU flag. The message is clear, Maam #remain‬

6 days ago

KJ Heritage

‪Chilling by the beach on my lunch hour again... work sucks 😂😂😂‬ ... See MoreSee Less

‪Chilling by the beach on my lunch hour again... work sucks 😂😂😂‬

Comment on Facebook

Nice work! I've been enjoying the river 🙂

You look like a writer 🤔

Ahem..

Super Deluxe
Dear Donald J. Trump: Here's a friendly reminder from Vicente Fox Quesada that Mexico will not pay for your wall.
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Haha

Baby Groot
watch more ===> Baby Daddy must like
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7 days ago

KJ Heritage

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Rob Storer!! 🍾🎂 ... See MoreSee Less

Comment on Facebook

Thanks Kev or do we just call you KJ Now? It's got a ring to it 😁

7 days ago

KJ Heritage

Like our page too! 👉🏻 👉🏻 👉🏻 Keeptheban ... See MoreSee Less

Peston On Sunday
Jeremy Corbyn renews his call to requisition empty homes in Kensington and Chelsea to house victims of the Grenfell Tower fire. #Peston
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Contact info

For all media queries, event/booking information:

goforit@kjheritage.com

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