K.J.Heritage is a UK author of mystery/crime sci-fi and epic fantasy—all with a strong emphasis on action and adventure and occasionally a little humour. Find out more
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don't trailers always show the best parts?
Yeah, but at least there's some humour in this one.
that's always a plus!
I hate the humour. I think it falls entirely flat - yet another wisecracking superhero. That's not Thor. That's Spiderman.
3 days ago
Please leave an honest Amazon review if you haven't already 😮
2 days ago
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When I heard that a woman had been cast as Dr Who, I didn’t shit my pants, or explode in a gigantic fireball of fragile masculinity, or go on Twitter to make some rape threats, or lock myself in a room to wonder why my balls are looking smaller and more bloodless by the day.
No, none of that. My first thought was about the real, human woman doctors I know, and the two things they all have in common with the new Dr Who.
I thought about three of my school friends: Dr McKinnell, a philosopher who spent recently spent several patient hours explaining eco-feminism to me in a pub in Durham; Dr Over, a psychologist who studies the origin of prejudice in children, and Dr Corrigan, a marine ecologist specialising in speciation (try saying that after a few pints. I did; I failed horribly).
I thought of my university friend Dr Edwards, who not only goes on Women’s Hour to talk about martian science fiction, but put herself at the cutting edge of democratising education by co-founding the Open Library of Humanities; I thought of my cousins, Debbie and Nat, who help children as a neurologist and a psychologist respectively, and my friend Dr Thornborrow who would be my first pick to put me back together in a medical emergency.
I thought of the women I know who are, as we speak, moving towards the conclusion of their PhDs: the future Dr Jones, who moved to the far side of the globe so that she could finish her PhD about media bias in the era of fake news; the future Dr St Claire, whose research into urban farming might just provide us all with the more sustainable future we so urgently need, and the future Dr Robinson-West, who is well on her way to becoming a world expert on the anthropology of sport.
These women might have excelled across very different disciplines, but they all have two things in common with the new Dr Who:
Firstly, they are all adventurers.
You have to have an adventurous spirit to complete a PhD: you must travel to the very edge of human knowledge and then leap off into research that nobody has ever done before. It is a terrifying prospect.
Completing a PhD is time-consuming, laborious, difficult, with scant or illusive rewards at the end of it all. You need to be ambitious, and self-confident, and single-minded, and have lots of other attributes that we aren’t always good at recognising and encouraging in women.
The second thing they have in common with the new Dr Who is that they have all had people assume by their title that they must be a man.
They have had their own banks or utility suppliers refer to them as ‘Mrs’ and ask to speak to their husband; they have been introduced by their first name at academic conferences while men are referred to with their proper academic title; they have been assumed to be their own wife, or a nurse, or a secretary, or one of their own students.
They have each had their extraordinary achievements dismissed in an instant by those who assume that ‘Mrs’ is still the best title upgrade a little girl can hope for.
That is why Jodie Whittaker’s Dr Who has an importance that goes far beyond Saturday night TV.
Now If I’m honest, I usually don’t give much of a shit about the gender of fictional characters or their portrayers.
In a world where Hamlet himself was played by Fanny Furnival, Charlotte Charke and Sarah Siddons as long ago as the 1700s, and Virginia Woolf’s Orlando was travelling through time and changing genders in the 1920s, it seems incredibly backward and painfully ignorant to get your knickers in a twist about a TV character’s change of gender in 2017.
But this event is important because for so many children, Dr Who is the most prominent Doctor in their life; and because so many people in our society still assume a Doctor must be a man.
As my friend Dr Edwards might say, science fiction is always, at heart, about the era in which it is created, and so Dr Who’s regeneration into a female form says something very exciting about where we’re going in our attitude to female success.
In a few months' time, when Jodie Whittaker’s first episode of Dr Who is broadcast, there might just be a little girl somewhere in Britain doodling in front of the TV.
Maybe she will be designing a spaceport, or sketching the organs of the human body, or maybe she’ll be imagining the furniture that stood in the court of Elizabeth I or pondering the future configuration of continental plates.
Maybe that little girl will glimpse up for just a second or two and see Jodie Whittaker on the screen: Jodie Whittaker the adventurer who is doing what no woman has ever done before; Jodie Whittaker whose gender didn’t stop her from being ambitious, and brave, and a pioneer.
Maybe that little girl will slowly render her own name, in carefully designed letters, as little girls have done for centuries: and then maybe she will pause, and her brain will flicker, her hand paused, and she will catch a glimpse of Jodie Whittaker, kicking some Dalek butt beyond a door she always thought was locked, and she will slowly write those two little letters - Dr - in front of her own name.
Perhaps that little girl will cock her head to one side and then to the other, swinging her feet in the air the way that kids do - just to try it out, just to test the title’s fit beside her own familiar name - and she will start to consider what kind of adventures she might be able to go on.
Because when Jodie Whittaker gets in that Tardis she will be doing what hundreds of women doctors are doing every day: she will be moving us towards a fairer, freer world where a person’s value is measured not by their gender, but by their talents, their skills, and the content of their character.
It will be by far the most heroic thing that any Dr Who has ever done. ... See MoreSee Less
I honestly don't understand why gender is such a big deal. The Doctor is the Doctor. Gender ain't important. I'm more worried about the writing and the new stories. DW suffered under Moffat. All show and no substance. Like Sherlock became. Hopefully Chris Chibnall can get the show back on the road.
It was a shame it went downhill so badly. Both Matt Smith and Peter Capaldi are great actors and both brought something unique to the role, but were hampered by some of the worst stories and season arcs in the history of the show. I held on hoping it would get better but the Robin Hood episode was the one that finally did it for me.
That's right Dave. Moffat indulged so many fantasises that they became more important than the the stories, characters or the show. My low point: the Doctor playing electric guitar on a tank in medieval times 😞
The one with the pirates did it for me. The bit at the end where claimed that a bunch of pirates would be bound to know how to operate a space ship, laughable. The jury is still out for me whether these fall into that so bad they're actually good category.
A classic... 😂
Didnt realise han solo played the flute...
Spoilers! The book ends with someone with a recorder sticking out of his arse.
Watched Logan which has had good reviews. (Spoliers ahead). And sure, it sort of hangs together with only a few jarring moments - mostly unrealistic claws emerging from henchmen's heads and wondering why Logan would so obviously and recklessly endanger an innocent family whilst leaving Caliban to die at the ends of the enemy.
Surely they would guess that the bad guys would be using his mutant-sniffing talents to track them?
Apparently not. Cue avoidable, pointless death of said family...
But the thing that just made me get up and shout "For fucks sake!" at the TV was the same old tired, never-ending format of superheros facing/fighting versions of themselves.
We see it in Iron Man, Thor, the Hulk, Captain America, Dr Strange and now in Logan.
And in this movie, Wolverine's main enemy is actually himself!!! A clone-type version complete with claws and blah blah blah ☹️
I'm just aghast at the total lack of imagination shown in superhero movies from Marvel.
It it fucking impossible to come up with a plot that doesn't involve them fighting an enemy that isn't yet another version of themselves?
Or are they just frightened of steering away from a 'winning format'? Either way, I'm bored to death with it. Sick of it.
But remove the high production values and a brave attempt from the leads to try and make sense of the muddled plot (we are very close to turkey territory), this much-lauded movie was utter derivative drivel from start to finish.
The only real difference... they say 'fuck' a lot. Yeah, that's it. And probably why it's seen as more 'character driven' and 'thoughtful'.
If you've not yet given it a viewing, I wouldn't bother. You've already seen this movie lots of times before. And done more expertly.
1/5 from me. ... See MoreSee Less
Fight, cliffhanger, fight, little girl in peril, lots of other people in peril because of little girl, cliffhanger, soul searching, fight. To me it was just way beyond bollocks, which, as you say, is pretty much what we can expect from scriptwriters these days. I know they all think "if it ain't broke..." But that fact that this formula doesn't seem to evolve, means it is broke.
I'm sure the intention of scriptwriters is to bring us something original and exciting. Positive in fact. But they don't make the final decisions. The producers are to blame. But I can understand where they're coming from. Movies cost too much to make. These days there's no factory system like in the 30s to the early 60s where they'd have everyone on a payroll chucking out 40 or so movies a year knowing that four or five would hit, pay for the rest and bring in a tidy profit. That all ended with the arrival of the blockbuster. Now it's 'all or nothing' territory. The producers don't just lose money - they lose their career. So they understandably (if not annoyingly) go for the safe percentages. But it leads to dull efforts like this one. But knowing this is the case doesn't make up for how utterly fed up I am with movies these days. Star driven. Predictable - if I hear 'we got company' - one more time I might just scream. And any number of other dull, dull, DULL cliches. I'm just waiting for a time not too distant in the future when auteurs can make top-class movies from home with minimal equipment and outlay. Then, just then, we might get a return to a factory system and more diversity and choice.
We're getting closer, with CGI being so widely available. I think Gigino & Co would work in CGI (Cue plug) www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B01MA3YI3K In my opinion, the American blockbuster industry is cliché and sad, it's time we Brits showed them how it's done, again 😉
Fantastic thunderstorms in late night Hove. Lightning, thunder and... oh yeah. My flat flooded. Just spent an hour in the middle of it all - bailing water like a madman. Living room full of towels and anything that would absorb all the influx. I'm too old for this shit. Now back in bed feeling utterly knackered. Nighty night x ... See MoreSee Less
Time to move back to the hills of Chadd?
I'm giving Kev the prestigious "Things that happened that were a complete pain in the arse." Award.
Defeated by the Glove of Duum!
6 days ago
1 week ago
I felt this was due another airing, interestingly, just as relevant today as it was six months ago, when I put some lettering on an interesting bit of European satire. ... See MoreSee Less
The fact that something doesn't exist, doesn't prevent it from being a wonderful idea.
Being harassed for food again by my seagull 'friend' Nelson. The greedy, noisy bugger ... See MoreSee Less
Nah. He's come to watch qualifying.
Nelson goes apeshit for chips. Absolutely apeshit.
He is only looking at F1 quali
Better than what we have... They were native Ibis, now we call them Bin Chickens. They will take the food off your fork!
Watched Rogue One again with friends who hadn't seen it before. They fell asleep... 😞 Nuff said. ... See MoreSee Less
Yep Dissown them...
I didn't rate Rogue One at all. Here's why: www.kjheritage.com/2017/01/06/rogue-one-too-many-whys/
Read that before
Yep, and it's still baaaaad
Episode VII required the deleting of the lore tho
I wanted something more gritty, but Rogue One just made no sense from start to finish. If anything fucked with the lore it was this desperate attempt to link up to Part 4. I made my case above. 2 stars at the very most
Yeah .... It had some serious holes but .... Apart from "my own council I will keep on what is bad" it was a fun action film.. Ep VII was a mismatch of the first 3 with no relevance to any lore .... I watched it 3 times and got more and more annoyed
My first official story as K.J. Heritage... coming soon ... See MoreSee Less
2 weeks ago
“Press the red button”
It's easy to say, isn't it?
Are you really brave?
Would you press the red button?
Do you really imagine, that the end of your species could really be that simple?
Would you commit genocide, Mr Corbin?
Would you kill billions of people, because they killed you first?
Would you help consign our planet to a nuclear winter, the like of which killed the dinosaurs?
Would you do that, Mr Corbin, are you man enough?
I think it takes more courage, not to do our bit towards an extinction event.
I think it takes courage to stick to unpopular policies.
It's like everyone forgot how MAD this is.
In my opinion, the public's support for nuclear weapons is just bloodlust.
It says something about who we are as a nation.
That we can hate another so much.
Just because they hate you. ... See MoreSee Less
I watched THEM! (1954) the other evening—a movie that terrified me as a kid (especially the noise the giant ants make) and yeah, it’s still an absolute cracker!
So what’s it about? In its basic form THEM! is a cautionary tale about the dangers unleashed by nuclear A-Bomb testing.
But in this instance, it ain’t Godzilla causing problems stomping all over Tokyo, but giant ants creating havoc in the New Mexico Desert and Los Angeles with their ‘single-minded sugar obsession’ and ‘laying Queen Eggs everywhere’ antics.
There’s also a USA ‘Cold War military might’ thing going on—but not overplayed. I love these old movies, where everybody’s on board and they just get on with trying to kill the enemy by using good old trustworthy science.
In this movie, ant experts take charge and are given full access to the US military to do with what they please. Mostly blowing the crap out of everything. Haha.
Ant experts…😂 but they do know their stuff…
There are some genuinely spine-chilling scenes in the desert amid sandstorms, destroyed caravans and a creepy traumatised child. And the sound the ants make… still gives me the heebie-jeebies.
Trouble escalates when a new queen ant escapes to L.A. and starts laying eggs that could ‘lead to the end of mankind as we know it.’ Resulting in a full-scale military invasion of the LA sewer system.
The 50s FX still stand up—although they are a little clunky, but of a genuinely high-standard for the time (well done Academy Award Nominee Ralph Ayres), and the direction from Gordon Douglas is one of the better efforts in the genre.
The tight story vanquishes any gripes about the plausibility factor, while the acting is damn fine. With James Whitmore, Edmund Gwenn, and Joan Weldon all acting their socks off.
And despite thinking it might be mired in tired old 50s sexism, the movie featured a strong female who pretty much ordered the guys around, which was nice to see. But again, the answer was in science. The military deferred to scientific knowledge and expertise and, if that came from a ‘dame’, it made no difference.
I thought there might be a romantic subplot, but it never went further than a few looks and glances. Nice. It wasn’t needed in this well-balanced, well-plotted gem of a movie.
There are some great cameos as well, all enjoyed by the actors involved, including a ‘blink and you’ll miss it scene’ with a young Leonard Nimoy.
THEM! went on to become Warner Brothers highest grossing film in 1954, it's easy see to why.
As I said… an absolute cracker! 8/10 ... See MoreSee Less
I remember watching Them, I loved a horror flick when I was young. The Blob, The Black Cat and Theatre of Blood were my favourites. Now I see stuff like Saw and wonder what the fuck happened to good old fashioned horror.
'...Be careful what you wish for' - I'm presently at the Brighton Little Theatre for their 2017-18 Season launch. Featuring my play 'Man In A Room' which will be performed this October 😮 ... See MoreSee Less
Hi gang! Took time out this morning to work on the final draft of the second instalment of Quick-Kill - now finally named as 'Quick-Kill and the 'Do or Die'. Which will be wending it's way to my editors (poor saps) tomorrow after a final read-through. It's Quick-Kill's first mission for the Galactic Secret Service. What could possibly go wrong? ... See MoreSee Less
I thought I might be over my commuting stress. I've had three and a half days without problem until this evening. Not only was the train cancelled it wasn't on the damn departure board - it had just disappeared. I asked staff about my train. They were none the wiser. Finally it turns out that the train was cancelled due to the industrial action. If so why didn't it say that? Why did I have to ask official after official to be told they didn't know what had happened to it. I finally talk to someone who knows it's been cancelled. So why didn't it say that? I ask. WHY?! I've had to wander around like a twat asking people where is my fucking train for the last 20 mins! Why couldn't they put it on the board? Because it wasn't cancelled it was withdrawn due to industrial action!!! Aaaargh! The stupidity of it. How could they make a bad situation worse? By making my fucking train disappear. And no. I'm not over my fucking commuting stress. Not even close. And yes I was wandering around like a mad man shouting and swearing 'Fuck arse!' ... See MoreSee Less
My cousin spills his woes on FB and he's trying to get some sense out of Southern Trains. We're British, didn't we used to be good at trains?
I'm sure I studied a phenomenon called Prisoner Pathology. The way Southern Rail fuck with their customers is essentially the same way prison guards fuck with inmates. There are no fixed rules for reward, no reliable means by which to be happy. It creates a depressive state in the commuter.
You're right. I'm never happy on the trains any more because you never know what's going to happen. I've been stressed all week on this commute - and it's mostly been fine. Totally lost it last night. Showed me it's not for me any more. Working from home WFH is the way from now on.
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Small talk? Love it or hate it?
I had a colonoscopy yesterday, as part of a free NHS check thing. So while I'm lying there with a camera up my arse, they attempt to relax me with small-talk! Yeah. Me! Haha. I've been recently diagnosed with ASD, which explains why I've hated the dreaded small-talk all my life. But I just wished they'f left me alone to ponder the absurdities of life... Anyone else hate the dreaded ST? ... See MoreSee Less
Yup. Brits can't stop talking about the weather anyway so its impossible to avoid but so bloody pointless. I also hate being asked questions about me and I'm really curious about other people so I generally end up sounding like an inquisitor.
I forget when people say 'how are you?' that what I'm required to say is 'fine' - not give a full medical history. I also like reciting facts and/or venturing an opinion. All pretty fatal in the small talk arena. But I just don't know what to say, or I just die from the utter banality of it all. Sometimes I just say silly things on purpose. Or make 'jokes'.
What sort of small talk? Nice weather we are having ? Do you come here often? Did you see Brighton play at home last week?
What do you do? How long have you been living in Brighton? And my favourite, after I'd stumbled through a few questions, 'what Antivirus software would You recommend?' - I had a camera up my arse FFS! I didn't even bother answering that one 😂
I know it's difficult, but they are trying to take your mind off the procedure. Just say I prefer not to talk. Here colonoscopies are done with general anaesthetic.
Fascinated to learn that even medical staff, on sticking a camera up your backside, then immediately decide (presumably based on visual evidence) to engage you in conversation. Many of us have held for years that you talk out of your arse. Now, Doctors agree. Win.
I'm a nurse. A District Nurse-got the qualification and everything- hate small talk. Hated it when the late hubby was ill, hate it when colleagues try it on people.
I don't know what ASD is. Is it some kind of corner shop trying to undercut ASDA?
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No but I like French fries, does that count?
Le piscine.... La maison.... Ok I'm all out ....
I am living proof that the use of the text book tricilore to teach French at secondary school was a bad idea
I've got about as far as ménage à trois 😂
Expertly translated by Guillaume Bc-trad 😀
Ooh a menage a trois with a femme fatale perhaps?
Papa fume une pipe
Mon Oncle est dans le jardin
Yeah I can read it. Probably a translation of the original?
Yummy curry last night: Onion Bhajis, Bhuna Prawn starters with Chicken Jalfrezi as the main - with added Sag Aloo and mushroom pillau ❤️❤️❤️ Courtesy of my local house of curry, The Ganges. Nice!! Those loverly lagers are not mine tho as I've stopped the drinking 😮. Fantastic meal, although it sounds like my tum is attempting whale song this morning 😂 ... See MoreSee Less
4 weeks ago
Frankie Boyle, spot on as usual...
Frankie Boyle has some scathing words for the Conservative party leadership, with Michael Gove and Michael Fallon singled out. He tells Owen Jones the Tories lack any talent to replace Theresa May after her disappointing performance in the general election. ... See MoreSee Less
Haha - brilliantHuw Parkinson turns to the fallout from the recent UK general election. Having lost her majority, and with complicated Brexit negotiations and fields of whea... ... See MoreSee Less
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I bet you taught him everything he knows 😉
I prefer beaver
I don't really have the stamina to trawl through all the seductive otters and other stuff that Google would doubtless throw up, should I be unwise enough to try a search. I am therefore willing to accept that this otter is, precisely what they claim it to be. If anyone is prepared to do the proper otter research in this field, I would be interested in viewing the results.
Watched 'Steve Jobs' the 2015 movie. It's got a hefty 86% on IMDB and exists as a series of conversations, arguments and interactions before some of his more memorable product launches.
My knowledge of the man is sketchy and I was hoping for something that added a bit of meat to the bones of what I know about him.
But this movie was also sketchy. And was more about the myth of the man than about him. A sort of badly-coloured in version.
Jobs is a fascinating individual and I suppose a traditional biopic starting with him and Wozniak in their garage moving predictably towards his death would've been boring. This was a brave attempt to deal with the man in an interesting fashion. But it was just too light on the detail.
I would've preferred a movie that focused on one of interesting periods rather than skating over nearly over them.
Great performances all round. But was left with a feeling of... I need more depth. This was nothing more than a stylish veneer. ... See MoreSee Less
Ah, really? I don't get the hagiography at all. He had the revolutionary idea that a useful thing could also be desirable. Big fucking wow. That's every desirable thing ever. Imho, obviously
just think of him as a brilliant guy with an unpleasant personality and a bit of a Jesus complex...not sure if that's fair or not but my impression--
Haha! The Queen has come to parliament looking like an EU flag. The message is clear, Ma'am #remain ... See MoreSee Less
Chilling by the beach on my lunch hour again... work sucks 😂😂😂 ... See MoreSee Less
Nice work! I've been enjoying the river 🙂
You look like a writer 🤔
1 month ago
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