K.J.Heritage

K.J.Heritage is a UK author of mystery/crime sci-fi and epic fantasy—all with a strong emphasis on action and adventure and occasionally a little humour. Find out more

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15 hours ago

KJ Heritage

Hardly slept a fucking wink this week. God knows how I can still function with so little shut-eye in the tank. But at least I can still make myself a mug of tea ☕️☕️☕️ ... See MoreSee Less

 

Comment on Facebook

Ben there. Done that the last two weeks. Tea sucks. You news coffee to survive.

You poor sod. I had a January suffering with paranoid insomnia and anxiety, first time ever with the sleep thing and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. Look after yourself, lovely man x

Well you say that but you've made yourself 3 there, so....

Have you tried the 5 letter word method? works for me.

think of an innocuous 5 letter word--then starting with the first letter, try to think of all the words that start with that letter. This simulates the pre sleep stage in your brain. I never get past the first letter! If I wake up in the night, I just do it again. It never fails for me.

Wish I had discovered it years ago...

Caffeine. That'll help. There's a very good book called Why We Sleep that has some info on insomnia. Don't touch caffeine seems to be one piece of advice!

I've been suffering with pulsative tinnitus, basically I've tuned into my pulse, which isn't a problem until it's really quiet. I started listening to old podcasts of Desert Island Discs to get to sleep - now I only have to hear the theme tune and I'm off Zzzzzz .

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3 hours ago

KJ Heritage

Bladerunner 2049 - Have to be honest, so far I can’t understand half of what is going on. Mumbling. No subtitles available. Finding it hard to connect. Sticking with it tho for now ... See MoreSee Less

4 hours ago

KJ Heritage

Just watched Bladerunner with friends who’ve not seen it before. Of course they fucking loved it. And what a fantastic movie. Now queuing up Bladerunner 2049. Hoping it’s gonna live up to the hype... going in 😮 ... See MoreSee Less

14 hours ago

KJ Heritage

This is getting ridiculous! How many more weekends do I have to suffer without F1? ... See MoreSee Less

 

Comment on Facebook

We should start a help group for us that are having trouble cooing

3 days ago

Rob Storer

This one killed me 😂 ... See MoreSee Less

This one killed me 😂

3 days ago

KJ Heritage

‪I’m a killer. I kill most of my special friends sooner or later. In the most imaginative ways possible #AuthorFun ... See MoreSee Less

5 days ago

KJ Heritage

Crom! ... See MoreSee Less

 

Comment on Facebook

Hear now, the servant of the worm god!

Crom lives!

6 days ago

KJ Heritage

I'm increasingly coming to the opinion that the world isn't divided between racist, misogynistic fascism and the 'snowflake left', but just between very dim people and the reasonably intelligent. ... See MoreSee Less

 

Comment on Facebook

Well said!

Pretty much, yes Kev

6 days ago

KJ Heritage

Cheers! #NationalDrinkWineDay ... See MoreSee Less

Cheers! #NationalDrinkWineDay

 

Comment on Facebook

Right back at ya 😁🍷

1/5 You've gotta get the super-big glass effect. Try again... 😀

Better ?

3/5 - getting there. Work on bigger glass and 'pleased' boozy expression

Think 'Waaaaaaaa'

Right !! I'm on it

I got the glass .. how's the expression ?

4/5 - get that glass right next to the camera! Or crop judiciously

😁?

Haha. That'll do! Massive glass

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1 week ago

Jeroen Veldhuis

For those fortunate enough to visit Holland: be prepared!

Made in Holland
. OmG Zo Hilarisch😂😂
- i❤Holland -
Watch this video🤗
Video by:Tom Roes en Neil Robinson💯💪
Met Hugo Boos
Like⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️
www.facebook.com/dutchsurvivalguide/
... See MoreSee Less

 

Comment on Facebook

Apparently we can get a train there now...

See you tomorrow Caroline! Meet you at the Dom tower

Ha! I bloody wish.

And it will be under water in 100 years. Don't forget that...

1 week ago

KJ Heritage

No broadband and @VirginMedia can’t get around to fix it until Tuesday! FFS! 😡😡😡 ... See MoreSee Less

Comment on Facebook

Ring em and tell em ...u should not have to pay for a service that u are not receiving and expect a discounted bill ... They will suddenly sort it quicker

That's very rude of em !

1 week ago

KJ Heritage

After sneezing a few times yesterday I’ve woken up with what I suspect are the beginnings of quite a nasty cold. Hoping flu jab will do its work and that’s all it is. In other news... GOOD MORNING 🤧🤧🤧 ... See MoreSee Less

 

Comment on Facebook

Well done getting the flu jab. Gutted I didn't get it this year - I tried finding flu vaccine after Christmas, (was poorly before), but couldn't get any in the northwest, rang 12 places and messaged local NHS trust for advice, (they wrongly told me Tesco Widnes had some, they didn't!). I'd have found rocking horse poop more readily. Hopefully it's no more than a sniffle. Good morning, enjoy your cuppa. ☕️ (PS: Otrivine nasal spray for blocked noses/sinuses - amazing stuff)!

1 week ago

KJ Heritage

I've started using subtitles on everything. Not because I'm deef. It's just that most dialogue in shows and movies these days is mumbled or drowned out by special FX, And I'm fed up of rewinding or turning up the volume to get blasted off my sofa in the next scene. ... See MoreSee Less

 

Comment on Facebook

I with you on this. I love peaky blinders but for fucks sake move the boom mic around

GOOD CALL OLD CHAP! (muffled sniggers) #MidlifersGuidetotheGalaxy

We're a broad church! 😉

If it's mixed for surround, it won't survive the journey into the soundbar...

I have done that for years. Worst offenders are BluRay disks, where the special effects sounds and music are so loud it makes the windows rattle, but the dialog is so quiet, you can't even hear mumbling.

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1 week ago

KJ Heritage

‪No Virgin Broadband all day in Hove. @virginmedia website crashes when trying to check. No updates. Just bloody useless‬. Anyone else with the same problem? With any news about WTF is going on? ... See MoreSee Less

1 week ago

KJ Heritage

#IwantPictures! ... See MoreSee Less

 

Comment on Facebook

Of ???

That’s up to you all

Here's the kind of pictures I get. It's (allegedly), a mummy and baby hedgehog, my 5 y/o son (also the artist) and his sister. I'm not holding out much hope for a good price at auction. 🙈

I drank it.

Dom tower in Utrecht, the Netherlands

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1 week ago

KJ Heritage

Sipping milky tea before heading off to work ... See MoreSee Less

 

Comment on Facebook

Ooh no, not milky 😖

I approve!

I should hope so too

2 weeks ago

KJ Heritage

Happy #ValentinesDay Make sure you spend, spend, spend! Because you can't possibly tell your loved one you care about them without a concerted corporate push and a show of hard cash... ... See MoreSee Less

 

Comment on Facebook

And a ❤️ cause it’s free 😂

Well Kev ... I saved myself a ton of cash on Valentine's day by switching to single !

I was explaining to the young bucks at work that it counts for fuck all. They still went and spent ridiculous amounts on meaningless shit purely so they can have sex tonight... 🙄

I'm going to buy myself a bottle of wine. So no different to any other Wednesday...🥂😁

After seeing how stressed my daughter who's 14 got over valentine day I think it's time to drop this Hallmark holiday. If you need to be prompted to tell your partner how you feel you should probably move on

It's just a money making exercise anyway and pretty meaningless anyway ..

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1 week ago

KJ Heritage

I'm wearing a jumper ... See MoreSee Less

Comment on Facebook

in North

America, a jumper is a type of dress. 😉

2 weeks ago

KJ Heritage

It’s bloody cold out there! ... See MoreSee Less

 

Comment on Facebook

This is cold 🇳🇴

2 weeks ago

KJ Heritage

Cosy. ... See MoreSee Less

2 weeks ago

KJ Heritage

Just watched ep1 of Patriot on Amazon. So far it’s fucking great. ... See MoreSee Less

2 weeks ago

KJ Heritage

Chilli Jacket Potatoes. Mmm ... See MoreSee Less

2 weeks ago

KJ Heritage

‪Okay. A few holes. A lot of nonsense. One too many twists. But... thoroughly enjoyable! Bring on S2 #StarTrekDiscovery‬ ... See MoreSee Less

2 weeks ago

KJ Heritage

Mum home from the hospital yesterday. They finally diagnosed her. Not Asthma but Chronic obstructive pulmonary disease. So at least we know what it is now. Thanks for all your loverly support xxx ... See MoreSee Less

 

Comment on Facebook

Hope she takes it easy and feels better soon. Thank goodness she was with you, have you managed to persuade her to move down permanently? X

Good luck with it. M

2 weeks ago

KJ Heritage

Who can top this! #NationalPizzaDay ... See MoreSee Less

2 weeks ago

KJ Heritage

Today I have to write a synopsis for my story in the upcoming 'Once Upon A Time in Gravity City' anthology. But we hates writing it... We hates it! ... See MoreSee Less

Today I have to write a synopsis for my story in the upcoming Once Upon A Time in Gravity City anthology. But we hates writing it... We hates it!

2 weeks ago

KJ Heritage

Watched The Cloverfield Paradox the other night. Or tried to. Switched it off after about an hour in. There’s only so much I can take of supposed scientists being angry, stupid, religious and irrational. And it doesn’t really connect to the Cloverfield universe. Generic nonsense ... See MoreSee Less

2 weeks ago

KJ Heritage

Working from home today and tomorrow - as it’s likely Mum will be coming home from the hospital today. Visited her last night and hardly got a word in - a good sign! ... See MoreSee Less

3 weeks ago

KJ Heritage

January’s writing results. 18,326 words at a daily average of 591. Not quite the 1,500 a day I was hoping for. Must do better ... See MoreSee Less

 

Comment on Facebook

Come on ! Let's celebrate the achievement ... not the .."what coulda been" 🙄

That's pretty freaking awesome! January is a tough month for progress--and you made great progress 🙂

3 weeks ago

KJ Heritage

In hospital with Mum who’s had a severe asthma attack. Very scary, but she seems to be over the worst of it. Paramedics arrived in minutes and were brilliant. The #NHS is fantastic ... See MoreSee Less

 

Comment on Facebook

Hope she recovers soon Kev!

Scary! Glad she’s better x

Laughter is the best medicine. I'm sure you can provide. Hope she's well soon mate. I know you are close

Hope she's on the mend soon Kev x

Hope she is back home soon and feels better

Get well wishes to your mum

Thanks everyone for your messages. Mum is still in hospital but doing very well. Hopefully back home with me soon xxxxxx

Get well soon, Kev’s mum.

Say hi to Mum and wish her speedy recovery Kev

I’m with Mum now, she says ‘Thank you very much for your kind messages’ - she going to be in for a few more days for some extra tests

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3 weeks ago

KJ Heritage

Tea is my bitch! Happy Sunday, one and all 😀😀😀☕️☕️☕️ ... See MoreSee Less

3 weeks ago

KJ Heritage

‪Despite my intense hatred of the right, bias media, Brexit and Trump, and how people are being shat on daily by billionaires and other unworthy privileged twats, I’ve decided to stick my head in the sand and just write my way through this hell. ‬ ... See MoreSee Less

3 weeks ago

KJ Heritage

Okay. Now at episode 5&6 of The Orville. It’s growing on me. But it could be a lot more adult! ... See MoreSee Less

 

Comment on Facebook

Gotta admit ... I kinda like it .... It's not firefly ..but it's sci-fi comedy that works for me .. Not rapt by it .. but worth a a chuckle

3 weeks ago

KJ Heritage

I’m up, dressed, ready for work and practicing my ‘interested look’ for office-based football conversations... 😖 ... See MoreSee Less

3 weeks ago

KJ Heritage

This week, I’m awarding myself the ‘Didn’t Write Shit’ award of awardedness - awarded to that special writing warrior who didn’t write fucking ‘word one’ because - Fill in reason here: I started a new job damnit! ... See MoreSee Less

 

Comment on Facebook

Well, I don't think that it works that way. You can't give yourself awards But you can reward yourself or punish.

I have many awards given to myself. I keep them on extensive shelving installed in my toilet

4 weeks ago

KJ Heritage

My new commute to Haywards Heath is nothing like my London horrors. But it’s bringing back lots of nasty, sweaty memories. Southern 😱😱😱 ... See MoreSee Less

4 weeks ago

KJ Heritage

Just add a two way 20 minutes commute and a working day in the office and my 1000 words are only just doable with no chance of any revisions. This is gonna be tough. Early days tho. ... See MoreSee Less

4 weeks ago

KJ Heritage

Let me be very clear - I’ve never paid for Twitter followers. Instead, I used good old fashioned blackmail and threats of physical violence. ... See MoreSee Less

 

Comment on Facebook

Yes. I remember. 😨

4 weeks ago

KJ Heritage

First day back at work done and dusted. To be honest, it’s been a little strange. But no major disasters or casualties. Mostly... ... See MoreSee Less

4 weeks ago

KJ Heritage

After over 12 months of working from home I am today starting a 5 week office-based contract. With actual people. Talking to them. What could possibly go wrong... ... See MoreSee Less

 

Comment on Facebook

Lead with the Twitter hashtag game then maybe Only Connect wall game?! 😬😬

That's just weird! 😉

Just be yourself, you'll be fine. Oh, hold on...

4 weeks ago

KJ Heritage

Coming soon!Official Gravity City Cover. Christopher Valin Deborah Kappes-Cassidy Michael Ezell Stephen Lomer Monica Enderle Pierce Caroline A. Gill KJ Heritage Michael Bunker Steve Beaulieu Crystal Pikko Watanabe ... See MoreSee Less

Coming soon!

1 month ago

KJ Heritage

What’s annoying me today: people at sporting events who notice they are on the big screen and then... wave at the screen and not at the camera! 😡😡😡 #AustralianOpen ... See MoreSee Less

 

Comment on Facebook

Idiots amuse me no end

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mostlywriting@kjheritage.com

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ROGUE ONE – Too Many Whys

MAJOR SPOILERS! This is not some rant at a Star Wars movie. I’m a huge Star Wars fan and always will be. I really wanted to like Rogue One, but, for me, it was a confused mess that made little sense throughout. The problem? Too many whys.

I’ve now seen it again, hoping that my first viewing was just an off day or something. But if anything, I liked it even less.

Characters I didn’t get/like

None of the main characters jelled with me as they did in The Force Awakens.

Rogue One just didn’t work at the character level.

Unlike Rey and Finn, I got no sense of ‘who Jyn was’. She seemed a very flat character who I never got a handle on. Which was problematic as the story arc involves her influencing hard-nosed soldiers to follow her.

And as for Cassian? He lacked depth, charm and believability. Nearly everything he did was odds with who he was supposed to be—a calloused field agent.

And why didn’t Cassias pull the trigger to kill Jyn’s father, Galen Erso?

If he was this hard-nosed assassin type, he’d have no trouble following orders like this in the field.

And, importantly, there was no preceding scene to cement a relationship between Cassian and Jyn to prevent him pulling the trigger.

Jyn and Cassia - no sparks
No sparks here

Both characters were not portrayed deeply enough to justify their lead roles.

The ‘relationship’ between the two didn’t have time to blossom. Things simply moved too rapidly from one event to the next.

Also, why didn’t Jyn kill Director Orson Krennic when she had the chance on the tower?

Krennic killed Jyn’s mother and forced her father to create weapons of mass destruction.

Yet she allows Cassius to stop her doing this.

Just why would Cassian stop her?

He’s supposed to be a cold-blooded killer (we saw that in his first scene), so there’s no reason why he’d miss an opportunity to kill such a high-ranking member of the enemy.

Deep Impact - Tsunami Wave - Rogue One
Deep Impact – hold on tight Jyn

Why is Cassian indestructible?

He should have died during his epic fall inside the tower. His head hit the metal beams.

He must’ve had broken bones or at least broken ribs, but he bounces back as if nothing’s happened.

Why?

Because I think he was supposed to die and they brought him back for the different ending with Tea Leoni  and her father waiting to die on the beach, as they did in the movie, Deep Impact.

A lot has been written about the inclusion of ‘Asian characters’ in Rogue One.

I have no problem with racial types, aliens, women, homosexuality or gay, bright blue, furry xenomorphs in fiction, movies or any media.

Humans, like aliens, are fucking diverse. I love all that stuff.

But the Asian characters seemed to be added just for ‘effect’.

Chirrut Imre was dressed in Asian style. And was an ‘Asian style mystical type’.

Why make that generic choice?

We are in A Galaxy far far Away. It was just so lazy a choice for him. His character and his mate were a really disappointing duo.

As for the rest of the ‘band’?

There were too many characters and not enough time spent with them to get a handle on who they were… and more importantly, to actually care about them.

Also, Jyn’s mother? What was her motivation in taking out the gun to threaten Krennic?

Why did she do this?

I thought she must have some plan… but no. Nothing.

Did she want to get herself killed and leave Jyn parentless? It sure seemed like it.

A dumb move that I didn’t understand.

And I hate Mexican standoffs. Generic nonsense that infests nearly every movie and TV show.

The Stormtroopers/guards would have shot her dead where she stood.

Let’s move on to Saw Gerrera. A total waste of Forest Whitaker.

He was only there to excite the fanboys, not to further the plot. And what happened to his blue eyes?

Other cameos were awkwardly tacked on.

I found myself sighing at all these sad ‘nods’ to other characters. E.g. C-3PO and R2-D2 shoehorned in for fan service.

The movie didn’t need them.

They reminded me I was watching a film, and it jarred.

Characters I liked

K-2SO was the one character I loved. A wonderful change from the other Star Wars—a droid who can shoot! Bringing both humor and some great action to the film.

To be honest, K-2SO was the best thing in it.

Overall there was a lack of comedy—integral to get us liking and caring about the main players.

Grand Moff Tarkin was excellent. What a shame we didn’t get more from him. Although he wasn’t that wonderfully rendered. But neither was Leia for that matter.

 Galen Erso hologram
Convenient cheese…

I also liked Jyn’s dad, Galen Erso, although his holo-speech monologue was both rushed and too convenient.

Plot

Plots don’t always have to make sense if the characters are strong enough to carry the story.

But without believable, interesting characters, the plot holes shine through like bright fucking lights.

What I liked was:

The explanation for the exhaust ports on the Death Star.

The Jeddha explosion and the other planet explosions.

It picked up near the end with the Rebel spaceships. It was like Star Wars arrived with their ships.

But the things that jarred were:

The whole first act didn’t feel like Star Wars but more like some Homeland Baghdad episode.

A giant octopus that can send you mad, got one scene.

Why?

The guy who was ‘sent mad’, was only mad for a little bit.

The Empire keeping all their stuff on a single disk (no backup procedures? Haha).

The TV dish on the top of the tower…

Doc Brown - Back To The Future
Been done before and better

The silly master switch.

The ‘Doc Brown wire that is too short’ sequence. I’ve seen it before in Back To The Future.

It was great in that movie. Here it’s just an embarrassing, cringe-worthy repeat.

The rebels assaulting the tower wearing WWII styled helmets reminiscent of US troops in the  Pacific—again, hardly A Galaxy Far Far Away.

Too many storm troopers being shot and blown up that it became tedious.

The final couple of scenes were something taken from Star Wars Battlefront and again, tacked on.

And Darth Vader didn’t look or sound like himself—he didn’t connect with me as being ‘real Darth Vader’.

Why?

Darth Vader
Just too bad ass!

Because the Darth Vader we see at the end of Rogue One is not the Darth Vader we meet in A New Hope. In Rogue One he’s all fucking lightsabre badass. Killing rebs all over the place.

A scene for the fanboys.

He takes on an army all by himself without even breaking a sweat. He’s nothing like the Vader we meet in the next movie. It jarred with me so completely as to ruin his ‘return’.

Just utter fanboy nonsense—like the manic Yoda fighting Count Dooku in the prequels.

And I don’t understand the need to fill in every single gap of the pre-A New Hope narrative.

Last bits

I’m the kinda guy who loves to watch Star Wars movies over and over—but not so much the prequels.

I’ve watched the original trilogy hundreds of times, particularly The Empire Strikes Back.

After watching The Force Awakens, I saw it at the cinema as many times as I could.

I only watched Rogue One a second time because I hadn’t seen what everyone else had and I wanted to make sure that I hadn’t missed something.

If I’d seen this before Force Awakens, I’d probably have been a lot happier with it. But it was a confused movie that failed to develop its main characters.

I was hoping it would find its feet, yet it never did.

I’ve read reviews where they say this is a ‘more dark’ Star Wars.

To my way of thinking, The Force Awakens was very dark. Han Solo killed by his son dark. Good vs Fucking Evil dark.

All the greys of Rogue One added up to a grey film. I wanted to be transported away from my life and taken somewhere fucking amazing and special—like a good Star wars movie should do. But Rogue One wanted to remind me of the Middle-east, the Second World and Star Wars Battlefront.

All these things just added up to keep me from suspending my disbelief. Lots of jarring moments where I was asking ‘why’?

So, what to end on?

Despite all the hope and the hype, the movie isn’t that great. Remove the Star Wars universe and the tiresome fanboy bits and no one would be talking about this three star (just) film at all.

Sorry, but it is what it is… *braces for flack!*

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